Hello everyone, to all my lovely friends.
We did it. A YEAR in lockdown!!!!!!!!
To everyone reading this. You are all super heroes.
I don’t know how we got through it. But we did. We still are.
One day when we are grey and old we will look back on this time in horror, amazement, astoshisnment and disbelief. It will probably (hopefully) feel like a terrible, fuzzy dream.
Last November, during the second lockdown, I was feeling every emotion under the sun.
It was around 10pm. I was holding my little Teddy Bear to sleep in his room. It was pitch black, there was a icy chill in the air and I could hear nothing but silence. As if we were the only ones left in the world. My mind was whirling, remembering everything that we had gone through in 2020. The terrifying pandemic, the heartache I felt from missing my family, the utter fear I had in keeping Teddy safe, yet the incredible times too. Our magical, special and ridiculous bond through spending 24/7 together, the overwhelming love and the snuggly, snuggles cuddles.
I knew I had to write. I just needed to pour my heart out.
And by midnight I had written a complete story- so I would never forget. A positive story for all of the millions of lockdown mummies who were going through the exact same thing as me. As the words flew out I started to imagine this as a childrens picture book with beautiful and happy pictures and I had very lovely dreams it would be published, become a bestseller and have the book sit pride of place in my house.
But instead, the words just sat in my laptop, untouched.
I have no idea why I have not shared this until now. But today feels fitting.
So here we are.
This is OUR story.
All my love forever,
THE LOCKDOWN BABY
The clock strikes midnight.
As fireworks sizzle and soar.
It’s 2020. The year I get to meet you.
Ive never felt excitement like this before.
You see I’ve been dreaming of you little one.
And watched my tummy grow.
Imagining what you might look like.
Whilst walking through the snow.
As my due date gets nearer.
I am so close to meeting you.
You’ve been my best friend since day one.
But my darling, are you pink or blue?
And just like that you are finally here.
Welcome to the world.
I can’t stop kissing and cuddling you.
And stroking your beautiful curls.
My hearts exploding and soaring with love.
What a wonderful day.
Oh my baby. You’re better than my dreams.
You are perfect in every way.
As we leave the hospital
With the world at our feet.
I feel so excited to show you off.
There’s just SO many people you have to meet.
But whilst we have been in our bubble of love.
The worlds turned into a scary place.
A terrifying disease is sweeping the nation.
I have to keep you inside, protect you, just in case.
“EVERY THING must close” they cried.
We must go into a lock down.
No restaurants, shops or schools.
Just a scary eerie ghost town.
Day by day the virus grew bigger.
The whole world was ordered to sit tight.
“This will all be over soon”, they promised.
But no-one could see an end in sight.
The days are short and the nights are long.
Every twilight you’re snuggled tight in my arms.
Nothing beats the feeling of cuddling you to sleep.
I will never let you come to any harm.
And just like that spring has arrived.
An eruption of blossom trees and flowers.
You are changing every day, smiling and laughing.
It’s the most special time together, sitting and laughing for hours and hours.
Weeks go by with the country still in fear.
When will this virus go away?
I feel so worried that you are missing out on so much.
All I want is for you to have friends round to play.
The hot sticky days feel different this year.
No beaches, sand or turquoise sea.
Instead, we are stuck in England, a summer in the garden.
With BBQs, paddling pools and the sound of the buzzy bee.
We can finally see our friends.
But must stay two meters apart.
You wave to them, sing and blow kisses.
Your ‘new normal’ breaks my heart.
But you don’t know any different.
You just adore the simple things.
Like going to the park with mummy.
Reaching for the sky and stars on a swing.
Look at you now, six months have passed.
You have grown into a beautiful treasure
You are kind, so funny, my very best friend.
Spending time with you is such an amazing pleasure.
Autumn is upon us.
Leaves crunch and rustle on the floor.
A sea of golden, red and orange.
As you look on in total awe.
Halloween feels very different.
No trick or treating on the street.
Instead we carve pumpkins at home.
Be cosy, watch spooky films, oh what a wonderful treat.
2020 is nearly over.
And oh what a year it has been.
Spent cherishing every precious milestone
Because before I know it you will be a teen.
One day my darling, I’ll take you somewhere exotic.
Travel on a plane as it soars through the sky.
Squeal with delight whilst it twists and turns.
Knowing that a great adventure awaits whilst we fly.
It’s crazy to think the worlds still shut down.
Yet you have had the most incredible year.
Getting constant attention, cuddles, endless love.
Why did I worry so much, and have such great fear?
Because all you needed was your family.
And all I needed was you.
And when this is over we will go on great adventures.
Road trips, the beach, feed the wild animals at the zoo.
We really have done nothing.
Yet we have done it ALL.
I know you’re be talking about this time for years to come.
With all of your friends at school.
So for now we will sit tight.
Wait for the storm to pass.
There really is no place like home
When the world is full of germs and masks.
But little one, please remember this.
Although nothing is the same, normal life is a mystery.
You are our amazing lockdown baby.
And you are going to go down in HISTORY!!!!!!