FAKE IT TILL YOU BLOODY
MAKE BAKE IT!
Oh my god guys I got to tick off a MAJOR bucket list fantasy last week when The Big London Bake invited me down to their tent of dreams. And now I can’t wait to fill you in on those ninety minutes of pure fun, excitement, panic and absolute KITCHEN FEAR!!!!!
I don’t know about you lot, but The Bake Off is literally one of my favourite TV shows in the world, it brings me so much joy and happiness and there is nothing I look forward to more than a cosy autumnal night in with a cuppa tea, biscuits and an hour of pure food heaven.
(Mary I miss you so much hun).
I adore it so much that I have even set that iconic theme tune as my alarm clock. This is not a drill. Guys I am NOT a morning person. Not one little bit. I mean don’t expect me to make convo till at least 9am. So in an attempt to make waking up slightly less horrendous for the last five years I have used this dreamy theme tune as my way of trying to feel a bit happier when my eyes open for the first time. Thats how much I love the show!!!…..I wish I could say it works haha!
Now I don’t know about you guys, but I have totally lost count of the amount of times I would think to myself, “I would do anything to have a go in that magical, magical tent’.
Well, luckily for me, and the rest of the nation, the geniuses over at The Big London Bake knew exactly what the British public needed……
A BRITISH BAKE OFF POP UP TENT FOR THE GENERAL PUBLIC.
DREAMS REALLY DO COME TRUE!!!!
I wanted, needed and craved a slice of the action.
But there was just one slightttttt problem.
I can’t bake. Not even slightly. Nada.
I absolutely can’t stand the heat and I’m never in the kitchen.
Unless you can count pink Tom and Jerry cakes?? I should stop talking shouldn’t I……
But look, this little set back wasn’t going to stop me, so when I was very kindly invited to review the experience (the excitement was on another level when I got that email) I knew just the person to invite along with me.
My sister. Who also can’t cook. In fact some might say she’s even worse than me.
OH SAMMY WHAT WAS YOU THINKING????????????
I know, I know, in a moment of pure joy and ridiculous excitement when receiving the invitation I made a vital error and did not think this through.
(Just joking sis, I wouldn’t have had any other person do this with me).
So the day finally arrived and us silly Summers sisters left Essex and made our way to Tooting, South London like two excited school children. The whole way there we were panic watching You Tube videos to try and get up to scratch with kitchen etiquette. It felt a lot like we had forgot to revise for a major exam, but you know it is too late to do anything about it.
But as soon as we stepped into that tent of dreams every single bit of fear evaporated away and turned into pure joy. It was totally like being on the film set. They had got everything spot on. The decor was that gorgeous pastel theme with the ten work stations looking exactly as they do on the telly surrounded by pale blue fridges and shelves covered in toppings and delicious treats. I was in heaven and this was a dream come true! We were so so excited to be here.
The Big London Bake have ten work stations in their marquee, and the experience is a fun baking competition between yourself and the other nine couples. Every month there is a new theme, and each session you all have ninety minutes to complete your bake.
I don’t know why, but I was expecting to watch the pros show us how to do the bake and then we would leisurely have a go. But oh no, how wrong was I. As soon as every one had chosen their work stations and had donned their aprons, they gave us our instructions and set us to work.
“You have ninety minutes to make a Mille Feuille….ON YOUR MARKS, GET SET, BAKEEEEE!”
It was that exact moment in time, when I realised that I couldn’t even pronounce what we were baking, I knew we were in deep deep trouble. A Mille who?? Oh god help us.
The next ninety minutes were an absolute blur of whisking, stirring, rolling, running around like mad women, icing, more stirring, panic decorating, a lot of swearing, a lot of shouting, and a whole load of hysterically laughing.
I have never known time to go as quickly as it did in that kitchen. We may not have had a clue what we were doing, we had all the gear but no idea, but luckily for us the staff there were so lovely and showed us the ropes. Somehow we absolutely winged it and finished our decoration as the final timer started beeping.
I say decoration loosely guys, I mean our Mille Feuille was a hot mess. That is one of the soggiest bottoms I have ever laid my eyes on.
And in true Bake Off Fashion all of the cakes were to be judged. And even though this was just a bit of fun and not intimidating at all, we were absolutely freaking out.
Everyones pastries just looked SO good, so professional, and so delicious. Whilst ours was slowly deflating and sinking as each second went on. As the judging commenced I could feel myself getting more and more nervous.
Our time finally came, but thankfully it wasn’t as scary as we thought it would be. In fact our judge said that it was very yummy, a good texture and she could really taste the strawberry flavouring. SAY WHAT!!!!!!
And that’s a lesson learnt for you huns. Don’t judge a book by it cover. Or a Mille Feuille by its poor poor decor.
We left the tent with our hearts full, with memories for a life time, and with a very very soggy Mille Feuille in a box that I held the whole way home like a proud mother.
Only to be told by my own mother that it was in fact, vile.
Sue Summers. Keeping it real since 1989.
Oh The Big London Bake you were an absolute dream. I loved every single second of being in your marvellous tent and spent ninety minutes laughing my head off and having the time of my life.
Thank you so so so much for the most magical and hysterical evening us Summers Sisters could ever have wished for!!!
We will be back, and don’t worry, we will be practising!!!!!
Lots of love,
Paul Hollywoods new assistant- Sammy xxxxxxxxxx
(This experience really is for everyone and you do not have to be an experienced baker to have the time of your life there. You can even rent out the whole tent for private parties. Imagine how much fun that would be with all of your friends)
Disclaimer- I was kindly invited to review this experience. We received complimentary tickets, however all views and opinions are my own.